Test Kitchen Thoughts: Autism, Power, and the Fight for Justice

I’m not sure if anyone even visits this site anymore, and honestly? That’s fine. I never really understood algorithms, SEO, or any of that digital razzle-dazzle—and, frankly, I never cared. I wasn’t writing for clicks, likes, or shares. I was writing for me. And if you’re here reading this, I figure it was meant to find you.

When I first started writing here, it wasn’t about building an audience. It was about getting the swirling chaos of ideas out of my head and onto the page, documenting my thoughts, and witnessing my own progression. It was a way to reflect, to grow—a space to be brutally honest with myself. Sharing those ideas on social media, though? That was a whole different beast. Let me tell you, sharing something innovative, something that dared to challenge the status quo, felt like stepping into a minefield. People reacted like I was committing some unspeakable sin—like I’d just murdered baby Jesus. And no, I’m not exaggerating.

So now, I’m reclaiming this space for what I need it to be: my unfiltered thought zone. This is where I’ll experiment with new ideas, test out insights, and let them simmer before I throw them onto Substack or anywhere else. Think of this as my test kitchen—not the bakery case. Some things will be half-baked, messy, or maybe even a little burnt. I’ll cuss. I’ll get things wrong. It won’t be pretty, but it’ll be real.

If you’re reading this, congrats! You’re officially my unofficial editor. I welcome your feedback, thoughts, and critiques—as long as you’re not an asshole about it. This isn’t a space for perfection; it’s a space for curiosity and growth. So pull up a seat at the metaphorical counter, and let’s see what we can cook up together.

First up on the agenda: Why, oh why, do some Autistic people feel the need to diminish other Autistic people for their ideas? I mean, I can break it down intellectually and spiritually. They’re insecure. They’ve internalized oppression. They’re playing the rage-bait algorithm game. They have unhealed trauma. The list goes on. But the real question is: Why does it bother me so much?

Because it’s shady. It’s gross. And it’s an abuse of power. If you’re an Autistic person with a massive following, you’ve basically bowed down to the algorithm gods, figured out how to work this neoliberal capitalist hellscape to your advantage, and good for you—you’ve carved out your niche. But with great power comes great responsibility. Like it or not, you’re shaping how people think about Autism on a sociological level. Do you think that’s fair? There are millions of Autistic people who will never have your platform or influence, but they’re just as educated, insightful, and worthy of being heard.

So when these power-hungry Autistics use their platform to tear down another Autistic person for sharing a meaningful theory or idea, it chaps my hive. And you know what I do? I stand up to the bully. Every. Single. Time. Spoiler alert: It never goes well. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I keep hoping they’ll have an epiphany like, “Oh, she’s right. I’m being an asshole. Maybe I should stop.” But that never happens. Of course not. Because dissenters in their comment sections don’t look good for their carefully curated performance of authority.

And that’s the thing—it’s the same old shit. Autistic people so deeply controlled by neuronormative culture and internalized ableism that they’ll do mental gymnastics to avoid accountability. It’s exhausting. It’s infuriating. But I’ll keep standing up for what’s right. Because someone has to.

And let me be clear: I don’t owe them a damn thing. They get online and act like the ultimate arbiters of Autism, as if the DSM and capitalism hadn’t already done enough to pathologize our existence and treat us like second-class citizens.

So here’s my message to these gatekeepers—because, no matter how hard they try to deny it, that’s exactly what they are. You should’ve heard the intellectual gymnastics this particular creator pulled to cover up her ignorance and complicity. This is exactly why Autistic people are still treated like shit. When the world sees one Autistic person tearing down another, the message is clear: We deserve to be treated like shit. Grow the fuck up.

And just so we’re all clear: I don’t do cancel culture, so don’t ask who this creator is. Just know I don’t put up with that shit.